I haven't been drunk in 12 years

and people want to know whyyyyyyy

Working for Nuts & attending events throughout the week

I haven’t been drunk since November 2013 (for Greg’s birthday, where I managed to scratch a layer off my nose while fanning myself but that’s a story for another time). When I lived and worked in London, while also single, I drank Mondays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays. And the occasional Sunday. Actually, one weekend I drank from Saturday afternoon through to Monday morning and called in sick very clearly still inebriated but that’s definitely a story for another time. It was never really huge amounts but my sociable evenings tended to go hand-in-hand with some sort of liquid. I never drank at home. Since scrapey-nose night in 2013, I don’t miss being drunk and I never get the urge to drink more alcohol than I do. Which is very little.

And people want to know THE REASONS. THE FACTS ALONE ARE NOT ENOUGH.

But, I just don’t really have one and I don’t understand why that’s so puzzling.

First up, I’m terrible at drinking in general; I could pass as a camel (although I spit less). It was a revelation to me when I found myself thirsty all the time during those early breastfeeding days because I’d just never really had that desire to take on fluid. I’m RUBBISH at gulping (there’s probably a crude joke up for grabs there but let’s keep it clean) and the rooms in my house are like a scene from Signs because I never make it through an entire drink. If I am thirsty, after smashing down a few big girl swallows (again, let’s keep it clean), when I look back at the glass I’m always met with the realisation that I have in fact, successfully taken on about 10 millilitres.

So, for me, the act of consuming way more fluid than I’d ever care to drink as a past time seems very, very strange. And difficult. And even more strange and difficult, is the fact so many people seem to need me to do so or at least want to question me about it.

Consider a food you’re really not fussed about. Or y’know, we can stick with the theme and opt for a drink. Imagine if in almost every social setting, it’s expected you’ll enjoy that thing. And not just a nibble or a sip, but properly enjoy it in a substantial quantity. Ok let’s say avocado - you could give or take it. It’s fine but it doesn’t set your world alight. But every time you have friends over or go out somewhere or attend a party or function, you have to eat three of them. And if you say ‘oh I’m not that fussed about an avocado tonight’, you’ll then need to explain WHY you don’t want the avocado. And it has to be a legitimate reason otherwise the badgering begins. Or the ‘don’t you EVER want avocado?’ questions. And then you’ll be sat there thinking well yeah avocados are cool and I’ve got nothing against them I just need to be in the mood I guess?

And aside from that, it doesn’t improve how I feel. While I’m a pretty unexciting drunk - happy, sleepy or dancey, I don’t feel brilliant the following day/s and then my anxiety gets pulled in. With kids on top, it’s just a recipe for a miserable 24 hours and one I’ll feel has been wasted. Again for me it just makes little sense to do something I have no real desire to do… with the result being a headache, nausea and irritability.

I’d have to be drunk to wear a flag as an outfit again though in fairness

Another plus point, I like knowing I can drive myself home after my Irish goodbye. Tick.

One thing I do think is important is to be a fair sober person. If you’re surrounded by friends or family who enjoy a drink and a proper letting of their hair down, don’t give them feedback the next day. True sobriety etiquette is that you cannot be the news reporter from the night before. Whatever you’ve seen, you haven’t and you can’t possibly recall the mishaps and conversations the following day unless people really want you to. You can’t expect others not to feel put out about your lack of drinking if your lack of drinking is putting everyone else on edge or bringing the energy down. You still have to bring the enthusiasm and enjoy yourself. Or, well… don’t socialise. I will say though, openly, I don’t think anyone becomes a better version of themselves when drunk or on drugs so your tolerance needs to be pretty high sometimes…

The past few years do feel like they’ve been more welcoming of the decision not to drink and the younger generation don’t seem quite as hung up on traipsing up and down high streets throwing up tomorrow’s seagull food. Lots more people are having the discussion on their own platforms and it’s positive (in my opinion) that there doesn’t always need to be a reason for sobriety. You don’t always make the decision to stop drinking because there’s been a reliance or a problem. Sometimes, like me, it hasn’t even been an intended decision - you just fell pregnant a few times in a row and in between, were in the company of your kids so you didn’t fancy a hangover. I’m never saying I’ll never get drunk again, I just don’t have any plans to right now.

As always, feel free to join in the conversation! Have your drinking habits changed as you’ve got older? Are you someone who likes to drink regularly or do you swap it out for something else?